Do you ever feel that you should check up on someone only to find they’re having a rotten day? Or maybe you’re thinking about someone and they call just at that precise moment? This often occurs because close relationships build energetic ties.  Yes, emotionally charged relationships do create an energetic cord. This connection links you to those you’re closest with, for better or worse.  It’s how you can tell that your co-worker, partner or sibling is in a surly mood so it’s best to stay out of their way.

What is cording?  Visualize it as an energetic string that lets emotions pass in both directions. Since energy is directed through thought and emotion, you usually get a “hit” through the cord when the person is thinking or “feeling” about you. Maybe they’re about to call you, wondering if you’d like to do something together tonight or even dreading working on a project with you.

This gives us a real sense of what’s happening with those around us. The stronger the connection, the more sensitive the link. With a strong connection, you can pick up on someone’s hard day, even if they’re not thinking about you. You just have a stronger sense of that person through the energetic connection.

The connection can become negative when you’ve severed ties with someone and they’re still emotionally connected. Emotionally charged thoughts can strongly impact our lives and the lives of those we no longer want around us.

Impacts of negative cording.  If you ever fell out with someone who you’ve been close to or disliked but  had an emotionally fraught confrontation with, you’re likely corded to them. This is why spiritual teachings are so keen on true forgiveness as it releases those energetic cords. However, forgiveness needs to happen bilaterally.

If the person is still having hateful thoughts about you, they’re throwing energy your way. If those thoughts are repeated with frequency or are highly emotionally charged, they can recreate an energy connection between you. This means you’re getting smacked with negative energy whenever you enter that person’s mind.

Think of all those times you’ve had fantasy conversations with an ex where you blurt out whatever you wished you had said while you were together. That’s all negative energy moving through the energetic cord right into that person. Now, maybe that makes you put on a secret smile, knowing your ex is getting hit with negative energy, but it moves in both directions. Indeed, it’s very tough to heal and move on when invisible insults are still flying back and forth.

Besides, your negative thoughts also impact your own reality. Receiving these negative energetic slams can have various results. One may feel it as a sense of  low self-esteem while another might get a headache or even trip and fall. How you take in the energy is as unique as your personality. Yet, it’s never positive. Plus, the stronger the feelings, the more intense the energy.

Clean up your own thoughts. You can take a few concrete steps to break energetic cording. First off, clean the house with your own thoughts and feelings. You can cut a cord over and over but if your own thoughts keep creeping back to that emotionally charged person, you’re just rebuilding that connection all over again.

If the person comes to mind, don’t berate yourself. No good ever comes from switching the negative thoughts from them to yourself. Simply, catch yourself as soon as you can and release it.  Practice Ho’onoponopono, say a prayer of forgiveness, repeat the mantra: “ Light, love and let it go,” or just do something to distract yourself.  Do whatever works for you to focus on something else. Find a way to let it go without denying or stifling the emotion.

7 Steps De-Cord A Negative Connection 

1. Make room for meditation.  Get into a relaxed meditative state by focusing on your breath and/or relaxing your body from head to toe. Take a moment to do this. Follow a guided meditation from a mindfulness app for help. The calmer and more focused you are, the more successful this practice will be.

2. Seek assistance.  Call in a spiritual helper (power animal, ancestor, angel or religious figure) and ask for assistance. This is optional.

3. Verbalize your goal(s). Set your intention, either in your mind or aloud: “I am cutting the energetic cord between me and _____.”

4. Create a neutral mindset. Bring the person to mind, as neutrally as possible. See or sense them in your imagination. Visualize the cord running between you. Notice where it enters your body and where it connects to them.

5. Visualize cutting the cord. See yourself holding anything that cuts; i.e., scissors, sword or knife. Say “I release you” and visualize the cord being cut.

6. Evaluate your new freedom.  Take a moment to see and sense being free of the energetic connection (be careful not to start thinking about the other person here, and inadvertently attach a new cord).

7. Create a protective energy barrier..  Now, see a thin but impermeable layer of energy surrounding yourself. This energy layer is protected from that person recreating a future cord between you. That is the only intention of this energetic layer, to keep out the energy of this one person.

Again, keep your thoughts away from the person until you can feel neutrally about them. If you start having thoughts about them out of the blue, unprovoked by some reminder of them or other stream of consciousness that logically leads you there, the person may have reconnected to you. It is possible for someone to be persistent enough to rebuild a new connection. If that happens, repeat the de-cording exercise.

When we stay corded to an individual with whom we’re locked in a negative pattern, both sides usually perpetuate the connection. Cord-cutting lets you own up to what you’re contributing to the issue and release it.

🌹If either one does this, it often helps the other person defuse their negativity and also move on. Keep your thoughts on forgiveness, light, and love, or simply surrender them to a higher spiritual helper and let go. 

🌼After you let both sides off the hook, you will ultimately be a far happier human being.