A full guide follows on how to have an energy orgasm with yourself and a partner. Energy orgasm, which can be explored with a partner or solo, involves separating orgasm from climax-related stimulation. While you may only be able to physically climax a few times in a session of sexual play, men and women can learn to orgasm energetically many more times. You can also learn to orgasm even without sexual contact, just by tapping into that generous ocean of pleasure awaiting you.
Energy Orgasm 101
First, open up to the possibilities. Behind the energy orgasm is the notion that we always have this sexual, creative life force energy flowing and animating our being.. This potent stream of eros is available to us continuously, but sadly, it’s socially unacceptable to fall into orgasmic swoons in public, so we tend to hold our energy systems tightly with our minds firmly in control. Due to various factors, most people only know how to access orgasmic energy when their genitals are being stimulated, to reach that place of energetic expansion and flow. Some find it tougher than others due to their past trauma history, feeling unsafe in their body, physical pain, negative social conditioning, sex-related shame, outdated belief systems or a whole host of other challenges.
An energy orgasm can also be called a “mind-gasm” since you only have to let go of your mind in a particular way to let the power of this orgasmic flow come through. Indeed, most people only let themselves access it during genital stimulation, but once you know you can connect with this energy without direct physical contact, it becomes far more available to you.
Practice with the food-gasm. The easiest way to experience an energy orgasm is via the sense of taste: slowly and intentionally feeding each other yummy bites of delicacies, then watching the other catapult into a deep ecstatic reverie that is literally orgasmic.
Try it yourself:
- When swooning into food ecstasy, mentally prepare yourself ahead to let yourself enjoy the most expansive, pleasurable experience possible. Often someone else can be holding space for you, and their witnessing of you can boost your enjoyment.
- Get ready, take your time, and slowly receive the perfect bite into your mouth.
- Close your eyes, relax your whole body, and let your mind be completely consumed by the flavor and sensation of eating.
- Ignore any other inputs and attune solely to the pleasure of the experience, letting it ripple throughout your whole body and being and into the space around you.
- Take your time coming back to reality and slowly open your eyes when ready. You and your partner will both be smiling from ear to ear.
Part of this is just practicing living on the edge of socially sanctioned displays of pleasure. Don’t be afraid to delve into this kind of orgasmic wonder for minutes at a time, letting yourself breathe, and make whatever tender sounds of delight feel natural. Key to the food orgasm is that it won’t come over you uncontrollably; you have to let yourself do it. The same concept applies to a sexual energy orgasm.
3. Connect with this energy during sex without touch. You can practice tuning into that creative, pulsating erotic flow within you without even needing actual stimulation to get it going. In tantra, you need the three major keys to move energy: breath, sound, and movement. Using these three keys, you can practice “running” your sexual energy throughout your body, whether engaged in sensual play or alone, and you can amp it up until it spills over into energetic orgasm.
It might be easier for some people to connect with this free flow of erotic energy if you’re with a partner, but you can also be blissfully immersed in your own self-pleasure practice, with or without genital touch. It can be such a profoundly empowering aspect of connecting with your own innate sensuality.
- Set the stage. Get prepared, creating the same kind of space you’d like to be in to have any other kind of orgasm. You can lie down on your back, knees bent, feet flat on the bed or floor beneath you, or if practicing solo, you can also sit up so your body is more free to move and swirl.
- Go within. Turn your attention inward, closing the eyes to signal to the mind that it’s time to relax and let go.
- Open up the breath. Take some long, deep breaths to start, relaxing your entire body. Let the breath melt away any tension within you. Then move into circular breathing, with no pauses between the exhales or inhales.
- Connect to your sensuality. Focus your attention at the level of the genitals, connect to the quality of pleasure and eroticism within you. Fantasizing and caressing other areas of the body can help get you in the mood.
- Free the spine. Following the in-breath and the out-breath, let your spine undulate while pressing the feet gently or rocking forward and back on your cushion, creating a wavelike motion in your body that naturally allows pleasure, breath, and energy to spread outward and upward from the genitals throughout the whole body. Some people inhale while unfurling and arching the spine upward and exhale while curling the tailbone under, but you should just move in the way that works for you.
- Squeeze and draw upward. Increasing the speed and intensity as much as you like, you can try squeezing your pelvic floor muscles on the inhale while visualizing drawing the sexual energy up through your spine. I like to inhale through the nose, like I’m sniffing the energy up, and exhale out the mouth, letting everything go right before another inhale.
- Let loose! Remember, we’re going for an actual orgasm here, so let yourself make sounds of pleasure, get wild and expansive with that breath, and allow your body the freedom to move and wiggle and undulate however feels right. The more noise you make, the more you body gets the message that you’re moving toward greater states of bliss. In fact, your own sounds can actually push you over the edge.
This kind of energetic awareness and mastery doesn’t happen overnight, so don’t put any pressure on yourself. Just give yourself at least 20 minutes to explore this practice to see where it goes.
What does an energy orgasm feel like?
While we have linked orgasm with the quick burst of fireworks (climax), a myriad of trippy orgasmic states exist that you can swoon into, which are much less of a destination to reach but more of a spacious, mysterious terrain to explore. Plus, your mind is where you flip the switch.
The first time people have energy sex with a partner, they are amazed that they weren’t being penetrated physically. Through you and your partner’s use of awareness and intention, the energy will pulsate through you feeling the same as when you are being physically penetrated. You simulate all the same kinds of movements, breathing, and sounds that happen with coitus, and the energy follows right along into wave after wave of orgasm. You even have your own energetic “release” at the end too!
Energy orgasms can also be eemotional
Know that when you get your sexual energy flowing like this, it will bring stuff up! Some shake and twitch as the energy flows through. Energetic blocks, stuck emotions, old memories, anything that obstructs your free, blissful expansion of pleasure will rise to the surface for healing and acceptance. So give love to those parts of you if they arise!
This practice can also be immensely sexually awakening for some, connecting you with latent desires and visions, an arousing of your erotic power surging inside you, a level of orgasmic potential that has never fully been tapped, and dimensions of emotional and spiritual depth or subtlety that might be defy description.
Eventually, you can have energy orgasms anywhere.
Once you gain confidence in doing it, you can have infinite access this flow of eros. You can run your energy in the bedroom or bathtub, on your yoga mat or the dance floor. Your body and subtle energy system are treasure troves of wonder. This unlimited sensual life force is yours to tap into any time you choose. It can refresh, relax, arouse, and inspire you, with an overflow of vitality and creativity into any moment.