The 10 Signs Of Everlasting Love
- Forge a safe space of mutual trust where you both share openly without fear. Don’t interrupt, even if you must put your hand over your mouth to stop yourself. Learn to fight fairly without name-calling. Don’t make threats. Apologize when you know you should. If you’re too angry to really listen, just stop! Go into another room, take space for yourself, breathe, and calm down. Remember that your partner is NOT the enemy, nor ever has been.
- Separate fact from feeling. What beliefs and feelings get triggered in you during conflicts? Ask yourself: Is something from my past influencing how I’m seeing the situation now? The critical question you want to ask is: Is this about him or her, or is it really about me? What’s the real truth? Once you can differentiate facts from feelings, you can see your partner more clearly and then able to resolve conflicts with clarity.
- Connect with different parts of yourself. Each of us is not a solo instrument; rather, we’re more like a unique choir of diverse voices. What is your mind saying? What is your heart saying? What is your body saying? What is your gut instinct saying? For example, my mind say to just leave him but my heart says but “I really love him.” If your different voices or parts are allowed to co-exist and speak to each other, you will then find an answer stemming from your whole self.
- Develop compassion. Practice observing yourself and your partner without judging. Part of you might judge, but you need not identify with it. Judging slams the door shut. The opposite of judging is compassion. When you are compassionate, you are open, connected, and more available to dialogue respectfully with your partner. Compassion builds trust. As you better learn to see your partner compassionately, you will muster up more power to choose your response rather than just reacting.
- Create “we” space that can house two “I’s”. The foundation for a thriving, mutually supportive relationship is being separate, yet connected. In co-dependent, unhealthy relationships, each person sacrifices part of themselves, compromising the relationship as a whole. When you are separate and connected, each individual “I” contributes to creating a “we” that is far stronger than the sum of its parts.
- Heal yourself versus relying on your partner. Don’t expect your partner to fill your emotional holes, and don’t try to fill theirs. Ultimately, each of us can only heal ourselves. Your partner, however, can support the journey as you work with yourself, and vice versa. Indeed, living in a loving relationship is itself healing.
- Relish your individual differences. The differences between you and your partner are not negative. You don’t need a relationship with one who shares all your interests and views. We may sometimes fear that these differences are incompatibilities, but they’re likely often what keeps a relationship exciting and full of the good type of fire.
- Ask questions! All too often we make up our own stories or interpretations about what our partners’ behavior means. For example: “She doesn’t want to cuddle tonight so she must not really love me anymore.” We can never err on the side of asking too many questions and then listening to the answers from our whole self — heart, gut, mind, and body. Equally vital is to hear what’s being left unsaid, like the facts and feelings that you sense remain unspoken.
- Make time for your relationship. No matter who you are, ensure that you schedule time for the well being of your relationship or marriage. That includes play dates and also taking downtime together. Frequently create a sacred space together by shutting off all things that are distracting you from your dedicated time together. Like a garden, the more you tend to your relationship, the more it will bloom and grow.
- Say the ‘tough stuff’ from a place of pure love. Become aware of the hard things that you’re not talking about. How does that feel? No matter what you’re feeling in a situation, channel the energy of your emotions so that you say what you need to say in a constructive So, please be kind to yourself..
Dedicated to your overall health, happiness and well being for 2023🙏🏼.