• I earn far less than my last girlfriend and have racked up a massive credit card debt.~Moe, 38
• My constant hair loss is why I shaved my head totally bald. Trust me, I would much rather have a full head of hair!~Jake, 41
• I used to be a leaner, stronger and far more in shape than I am now.~Ralph, 45
• My penis is a tad crooked and I was never circumcised.  Hey, at least it works!~Max, 36
• I dated a lingerie model before but that would drive my current lover crazy so I never told her.~Alex, 34
• I’ve been bi-sexual since adolescence but since my mid-20’s I’ve mostly been with women.~Sam, 47
• Being a pipe fitter sucks and I want to go back to school but I really have no clue what to do.~Carlos, 37
• Erectile dysfunction is a side effect of one of the many meds I take for Type 1 diabetes. ~Dan, 50

Men suffer from insecurity over finances and career. Today, most women work and most families are dual income. Still, a man is likelier to express anxiety over his career and finances than his spouse.  After all, a male is raised to be a provider but if he feels he cannot sufficiently provide, insecurity seeps in. Such insecurity extends beyond his own self-worth as it also colours his sense of worth as a partner or father. A man is also likelier to define himself solely by his work, which is double trouble in a strapped economy.

Men too have body image Issues.  Our culture’s obsession with physical perfection has generated eating disorders, promoted plastic surgery addictions and fuelled gruelling workouts for both men and women.  Thus, it’s not unusual today for a man to express insecurities about his his weight, hairline or penis size. Why not tell your man just how sexy and attractive you find him just as he is.  In fact, that loving reminder may just be enough to spur him to exercise more and take better care of his health and appearance.

Men keep secrets to protect their partners.  Secret-keeping is often linked with self-protection, hiding the truth from a partner to avoid catching flack for bad behaviour. At times, however, a man can keep a secret to simply spare his partner’s feelings. For instance, Alex knows his girlfriend will feel insecure about her appearance, if she discovers he previously dated a  leggy lingerie model. Alex has good intentions but what happens if his girlfriend ever finds out about his omission? Clearly, he can’t change his dating history so his task is to make his current partner feel as secure as possible. When your past relationships affect your current one, either work through your partner’s insecurities with honesty and openness or move onto another partner who accepts your past choices. Never stay with a partner who cannot seamlessly weave those choices into the whole of who you are or punishes you for making them.

                Oh, men and their secrets!

Caring doesn’t always mean sharing.  When a man doesn’t reveal all to his partner, it may be a matter of gender norms rather than deception. A young 21-century male is far more in touch with his feelings than ever before but he may be still struggling with his ability to show his vulnerability to his female partner. However, it’s a worthy struggle as secret sharing helps partners grow closer. Happily, woman are usually well equipped for the task as they communicate their deepest, most innermost thoughts and feelings on a daily basis with their closest friends and loved ones. Thus, when her man reveals his secret(s) to her, she is already in the mode of listening and acceptance.

Did you know that the easiest way to get your partner to open up is to open up first?

Try this technique and let me know how it works out for you.