Do you have a friend or relative who just gets into the same old miserable relationship pattern again and again? Or, perhaps it is you yourself. Endless relationship patterns exist, but you may find yourself in a variation of the same thing, unless you consciously self-reflect and learn from your past so as to set intentions for moving forward.
For example, did you ever take the time to thoroughly go through 2023 when the year ended? Most people never take time to assess how the year went, how they showed up and what locked them from getting the things they wanted.
Yes, of course you want to move forward quickly, to decide that 2024 will be the year you do the things you want but that will always fail without learning from your own past.
If you want your relationship life to differ this year, whether it’s finding a life partner who truly meets you or having a more deeply connected marriage, you must evaluate what went wrong before.
And not just how your partner was wrong but what your actual role was in the final equation.
Write down answers to the following questions:
How have I been a really great partner in the past?
How have I not been a great partner in the past?
Why did I accept this behavior in relationship?
Who might I have to become in order to have the type of relationship I want?
How might the current version of myself not be ready for that yet?
You must able to reflect on where you didn’t show up so well.
Where you missed the red flags at the outset, where you were afraid of being vulnerable, where you lacked boundaries, where you were coming from a place of insecurity, where your were being controlling, where you settled for less.
So, you do not need to beat yourself up but instead take an honest look at your own behavior.
Once you understand what your patterns are, then it becomes far easier to set yourself up for future success.
Sit down with a piece of paper and these questions, and see what happens. It just might actually change the course of your love life for the better.