50 Powerful Sex Tips For Men
Men, now is the time for you to cultivate more self-confidence, potency and energy. As the saying goes, “Small hinges swing big doors. If you direct more energy and attention to your sex life, you can experience the most unimaginable pleasure sex ever, both in and out of bed.
1. Extend foreplay. According to Taoist sexual philosophy, what differs between male and female bodies is that female sexual energy begins in the extremities and needs to be guided towards the genitals. In other words, most women take a minute to warm up. One high leverage way to improve your sex life is to spend a significant amount of time in foreplay. By extending foreplay you both have more time to drop into the moment and you’re both far likelier to enjoy multiple orgasms and more powerful orgasms.
2. Learn how to control ejaculation by practicing becoming multi-orgasmic. Every man has the capacity to become multi-orgasmic, if he knows how to do it correctly.
It all comes down to knowing your body, having a relationship with your ejaculatory ‘point-of-no-return’, and connecting with your breath.
3. Do at least 1-2 high intensity exercise sessions per week. Men get a massive testosterone boost from doing high intensity workouts. Especially when those workouts are filled with heavily weighted compound exercises, i.e., dead lifts, squats, bench press, kettle bell swings, and pull ups. Work out like this even once or twice a week and witness an immediate positive impact on your sex drive.
4. Make noise during sex. My female clients tend to complain that their male partners are too quiet in bed. While the strong, stoic, monosyllabic figure of masculinity might be attractive on the big screen, in real life women want a man who can be expressive and vocal, especially when it comes time to fooling around in bed. Try moaning, grunting, growling, or dirty talking more often in bed. It will help you get out of your head and into your body (you’ll experience more pleasure) and your partner will appreciate it.
5. Don’t eat right before sex. Digestion takes blood flow. If your blood is all working on digesting and distributing the nutrients just plopped down into your belly, then it won’t be as likely to be filling your penis with blood to make a satisfying erection. As much as possible, aim to not eat for at least 60-90 minutes before sexual play.
6. Urinate at least 20 minutes before sex. Taoist sexual philosophy states that men should avoid having sex within 20 minutes of peeing, and I would agree with this sentiment.
If you go pee and then immediately start trying to have sex, 1-3 minutes afterwards, then your penis hasn’t had any time to acclimate to switching roles. By doing this, you’ll be more detached from your sexual pleasure and more likely to prematurely ejaculate.
So by all means, empty your bladder before sex. Just make sure that you take some down time between urination and sex. Not sure how to pass the time as you’re waiting? Extended foreplay and/or a sensual massage is always a good call.
7. Eat a diet of minimal processed foods to ensure your body is in tip top shape. As the saying goes, you are what you eat. If you eat crap food, you’ll feel like crap. If you eat healthy, whole, energizing foods, you’ll feel like a healthy, whole, energized person. Cut back on drinking, smoking, drugs, or processed foods. Opt for a colorful array of vegetables, nuts, lean animal proteins, and any supplements that make you feel awesome.
8. Use your words. Dirty talk is hot when you do it right. Before sex, say what you want to do to them. During sex, say what you love that’s happening. After sex, say what you loved that happened.
9. Stop watching so much porn. Watching even moderate amounts of pornography is proven to mess with your mind and sexual performance. When watching porn, your brain’s reward circuitry lights up like a Christmas tree. Plus, most men will scroll through multiple scenes during a single viewing session so it’s no wonder that this habit creates an arousal addiction; i.e., where your mind wants more variety constantly. When then faced with your one, static partner and can’t click through to another, your mind feels under-stimulated and it’s common for men even under 30 years old) to suffer from ED due to how their brain has been rewired. In short, limit your exposure to porn, if not eliminate it from your life all together so as to have the strongest erections and healthiest sex life possible.
10. Avoid her genitals for as long as possible during foreplay. The brain has two kinds of pleasure systems: consummatory pleasure and anticipatory pleasure. Anticipatory pleasure is what we experience when in the state of desiring or craving something; i.e., that hit of dopamine when you see your food being brought out to you in a restaurant. Consummatory pleasure is the kind of pleasure experienced when we consume whatever we desire, be it food, sex, human touch, etc..Sexual tension and sexual pleasure are largely centred around being in a state of anticipation.
So, during foreplay, build up the sexual tension by going everywhere other than your partner’s genitals first. For example, if your partner enjoys being kissed on the neck/shoulder area, then spend a few minutes lightly breathing on the nape of her back, behind her ear, and over the part of her shoulder where her bra strap would normally fall. Start very gently. Let your breath and lips do most of the work to begin with and simply graze her skin.
In your sexual play sessions, spend enough time on the preparatory phase that when you eventually to put your fingers between her legs, you won’t doubt that she’s dripping wet by the time you touch her.
When in doubt, slow down, tease more, and build anticipation.
11. Wear deodorant and cologne that she loves. Your partner has to smell you more than you do. Find a scent of deodorant and cologne that both of you enjoy on you. You can even go shopping with her for it, which can be its own form of foreplay.Choose a deodorant free of parabens, aluminum, and other chemicals that mess up your ability to produce ample amounts of testosterone.
12. Just kiss sometimes. Remember when you were in high school and you would make out for hours, and that would be the whole point? Do that again. How you kiss each other is a good indication of your connectedness. So slow down and really take the time to enjoy each other in a simple, beautiful way. Feel her lips. Smell her hair. Press your body into hers. Take your time.
13. Lavish praise on her body parts that she has yet to fully accept. Inevitably, your lover has some body that they aren’t happy with just yet. Ask them what those things are and then help them to see the beauty of those things by lavishing genuine praise on those things.
Feeling attractive, desirable, and uniquely beautiful is highly erotic. And the point isn’t to have your partner become dependent on your approval… in fact, quite the opposite. Think of your praise and attention as a bridge that you build to help your partner transition from self-rejection to self-acceptance. By seeing their body through your eyes, in the short-term, they will come to love their body just as much as you do.
14. Do the laundry, tidy the area, and set up your bedroom for better sex
Understandably, it’s often hard for women to really turn off their minds if surrounded by chores/tasks on your shared to-do list. Honor yourself, your partner, and your relationship by removing as many distractions from your environment as possible. Pick up/do/fold the laundry. Tidy up. Vacuum. Take out the trash. Invest in mood lighting, music, or essential oil diffusers.
15. Go sex toy shopping together. Depending on how you use them, sex toys can amplify orgasms, increase closeness, and add a thrill to your bedroom routine.
Check out my most highly recommend sex toys: for men, for women, and for couples.
16. Have an occasional date night at a posh hotel. Want something easier than tidying up your place and worrying about the neighbours/kids/pets? Many couples benefit from an annual date night at a nice hotel. You need not worry about the social repercussions (assuming that the walls are decently sound-proofed), and you need not do the laundry when you leave. Enjoy!
17. Have sex in new rooms and situations in your house. Sex isn’t reserved for the bedroom! There are endless options: In the shower, on the washing machine, in the bathroom while getting ready in the morning, on the side of a hot tub, in your car while on a road trip.
18. Foray into your kinkier side. Kinky sex isn’t just for the leather crowdin BDSM sex dungeons. Try some light biting, hair pulling, or spanking with your partner (giving or receiving) and see what you like. You might be surprised.
19.Take a sunny, warm vacation together. A recent study of 31 million people concluded that your sex life improves when you go on vacation. If you have the means to do so, book a quick trip to somewhere warm, get lots of sleep, and spend ample time enjoying each other’s bodies.
You’ll be shaken out of your regular routines, and it will work wonders for your relationship.
20. Take an oral sex class together. In major cities around the world, it’s increasingly common to be able to attend live classes on improving your oral abilities (note: here are guides on oral sex for men and for women). Do a bit of research and see if there’s anything you can find in your neighbourhood.
Be forewarned, some classes have live demonstrations on real people, OR on props/vegetables) while others don’t. Make sure you read the fine print of the event page.
21. Schedule a “Spoiling Session”. This is the best thing you can do for your sex life if you’re in a relationship. This sexy, multi-purpose exercise allows you to gain a deeper understanding of your own sexual needs and the sexual needs of your partner, while simultaneously reconnecting as a couple and melting away the subtle shame and resistance that each partner may or may not have towards sex in general. A spoiling session is a pre-determined amount of time where one partner (the recipient) gets to have whatever they want done to them/on them/for them, as long as those things fall within the realm of comfort for the giving partner.
22. Gift her with a sensual massage. Ahh, the fine art of the sensual massage! If you want to give a woman the night of her life and turn her into a blissed-out babe, work on perfecting your sensual massage.
Everybody likes sex, but the dynamic of a sensual massage is entirely different. It’s all about her receiving from you. Whether it’s for an anniversary, a date, or just a Tuesday night, there is nothing else that will leave her feeling so honoured, nurtured, loved, and turned on. Set the scene, use some coconut oil, start gently, and escalate from there.
23. Earn more money. It has been scientifically validated, time and time again, that you experience a boost of dopamine and testosterone when you make more money. So, as long as you aren’t killing yourself with cortisol (aka stressing yourself out) in order to make that extra cash, figuring out a way to make a little extra money in your career path could pay dividends in the bedroom for you and your partner.
24. Engage in extended self-pleasuring. One efficient way to have a more pleasurable sex life is to go deeper into your awareness of your own body. Set aside time to practice extended self-pleasuring. Preemptively remove any distractions (phones off, kids to bed, etc.), bust out the coconut oil, and let your hands roam free.
25. Figure out what your ideal sex life looks like. Most people go their entire lives without ever slowing down to think about what, exactly, their ideal sex life looks like. When prompted, most of my male clients will simply laugh off the question with an answer like, “Just a lot of it.” How often do you want to have sex? What does/do your partner/partners look like? What is the emotional tone of the sex you engage in? How long do you engage in the sexual play for? What time of day? Is there music on or off? Lights on/off?
26. Discuss what your ideal sex life looks like with your partner. Insights don’t mean much unless they also translate into actions in your life. Once you know what it is you want from your sex life, communicate those insights and desires with your partner. And ideally, they do the exercise as well and you can find the most mutually beneficial set of circumstances that meets both of your sexual and physical needs.
27. Do the swirl technique. Most men touch their partners in a boring, predictable, linear pattern. Enter: the swirl technique!
During foreplay especially, use the swirl technique to keep her nerve endings guessing (swirling your hands around lightly in an unpredictable, non-linear way over the whole body). This style of touching makes your partner’s nerve endings crave being chosen next and builds rapid sexual tension and anticipation.
28. Practice the 9-5 technique in order to build your sexual stamina
The 9-5 Technique can help you last longer in bed.
Imagine your sexual arousal on a scale of 1-10. One being you sitting at home knitting, and 10 being youat the absolute peak of having an orgasm.
Simply put, the 9-5 technique is the process of arousing yourself, in a rising and falling manner, up and down, between 5 out of 10 and 9 out of 10. Some people used to call this edging, but it differs from edging. Edging is the process of riding your sexual arousal wave on the higher end of the spectrum. As in, going from an 8 to a 9… then a 9 to an 8.5… and so forth.
The 9-5 technique is more about taking multiple runs towards the finish line, from a place of low/medium arousal (i.e. 5/10) so that your mind gets an expert understanding of what your orgasmic point of no return feels like (and when to safely back away from it) and your body gets progressively trained in to the fact that you’re allowed to feel sexual pleasure and not have that stimulus mean “I need to cum as fast as possible.” Do this even once weekly for at least 20 minutes, and you’ll be on your way to greater sexual stamina.
29. Get so comfortable with your body that you feel like doing a photo shoot, then surprise her with the photos. Whether or not your physique would appear in the centrefold of a men’s magazine, book a professional photoshoot, then gift it to your partner. This is more about self-acceptance and confidence than about committing yourself to working out like a madman in the gym for preparation. Own what you’ve got, and let it show. Let the photos highlight your partner’s favourite part of your body. And if you don’t know what it is, ask.
30. Practice being more vocal during sex. Many people find it uncomfortable to make any sort of sound during sex. A lot of the time they’re worried they won’t say the right thing or their partner will get turned off by a weird noise and lose interest. But if you are in a loving relationship with a supportive partner, it wtake more than an accidental snort to get rid of them… and you may stumble onto a new fetish. Whether you’re looking to make more noises (grunts, groans, moans, etc.) or you want to use words more often, increasing your communication levels during sex is always a good idea. How else are you going to know what they’re liking and what they aren’t?
31. Stretch more often. A limber body is happy body. And happy, limber bodies make for better lovemaking. You want to be a supple leopard all over, but especially focus on opening up your neck, back, gluts, hips, and calves.
32. Boost your testosterone levels through lifestyle shifts. No article focused on sex tips for men would be complete without a little testosterone talk, Testosterone is the dominant hormone that affects your levels of sexual desire. The most significant ways to positively impact your testosterone levels are 1) prioritize 7-8 hours of quality sleep every night, 2) eat a nutrient-dense, whole food diet with ample vegetables and quality fats, and 3) do resistance training (weight lifting) 2-4 times per week focusing primarily on heavy compound lifts (such as squats, deadlifts, pull-ups, and bench press).
33. Boost your testosterone levels through these avant grade techniques. These 3 effective testosterone hacks are considerably less known.
- Cold showers. While more research is needed to have this tip be super definitive for humans, preliminary studies are promising. Male clients have found it to be very effective at improving their immune system, mental alertness, and sex drive. At the end of your normal, hot shower, turn the water temperature all the way to maximum cold for 30-60 seconds. Do this a few times per week and see how your sex drive responds.
- Intermittent fasting. The research on this tip is strong. It’s well known that every time you eat something regardless of it’s quality and/or protein-carb-fat ratio, your testosterone drops momentarily. So if you constantly snack and/or have 6-7 small meals throughout the day, then it’s natural, evolutionarily speaking, that your body wouldn’t need to give you any shot of testosterone to motivate you to go out and hunt for your next meal. One study even found that short term fasts of 24 hours induced growth hormone levels by a ridiculous 2000% in humans. 24 hours is more than most people can handle, or want to prioritize. A simple way into intermittent fasting is to, 1-2x per week, avoid having your first meal until noon. Or, keep your caloric intake between a narrow window; ie, only eat between 12-6pm).
- Red light therapy. Early research shows that shining red light on your chest and testicles can boost your free testosterone levels. Anecdotally, my clients experienced this. Within a couple of weeks of using it for 10 minutes per day, they reported a higher sex drive, more energy, and enjoyed faster muscle recovery times and deeper sleeps with more ease. Clients who used the Joovv red light therapy device on a daily basis absolutely adored it. On top of the bump in testosterone, both red light therapy and near infrared light therapy significantly benefit the skin health. So, if you have any issues with eczema, acne scarring, stretch marks, old scar tissue that won’t go away, or any other conditions that result in dry, flaky, or irritated skin, this therapy could also help you. Suffice to say, my clients are huge fan of this device, so I highly recommend it.
34. Add to your bedside tool kit. No bedroom setup is complete without a few fun toys under the bed, or inside your bedside table. So, try out some new toys!
- Coconut oil; use as massage oil or lube
- Wrist restraints for light bondage play
- Sex toys for her
- Sex toys for him
- Waterproof blankets, a must-have for any squirters
- Sex toys for couples
Sex toys are the icing on the cake of an already great sex life. What’s more fun than a super hot, dynamic sex session with a loving partner who knows how to use toys correctly.
35. Help her lean into her ability to have G-spot orgasms. Much squirting literature reports that a minority of women (anywhere from 1-6% of women) are able to have squirting orgasms. Others say that over 80% of women are able to have squirting orgasms, given the right circumstances.
36. Explicitly discuss your sexual fantasies with your partner. What does your ideal sex life look like? If you know, then you need to communicate your desires to your partner.
As connected as you might be to your significant other, they aren’t a mind reader.
Honestly discuss what it is that you like, and what you would like to try with them in the future.
37. Pen an extended love letter to your partner about what you love about your sex life with them.
People respond to positive reinforcement. If you tell your partner what you like about your sex life and praise them more in general, don’t be surprised if you start seeing and experiencing more of those exact things in your sex life.
38. Engage in intimate touch more often throughout the day. Grab their butt every now and then. Nibble them on the neck. When you kiss them throughout the day, really kiss them. Run your fingers through their hair whenever you’re lazily watching a movie on the couch together. High-touch relationships can go the distance and the physical contact keeps the sexual simmer going throughout the day. Voila! Now your entire relationship is an act of foreplay.
39. Have morning sex. Morning sex is often some of the best sex. Sex anytime of day with your love is fantastic, but especially good in the super-supporter of morning sex.
40. Master going down on her. A lot of guys see oral sex as a brief pit stop en route, rather than a main destination, so they don’t put much energy into honing their skills.This is all good news for men. Because if you put even a bit more effort into sorting out your approach and technique, you can set yourself miles ahead of the pack. When you’re through, she’ll be blissed out, panting and doe-eyed, looking at you like you’re an absolute rock star. Settle in. Get comfortable. Take your time. Learn what she likes, use dynamic tension to give it to her, and listen attentively to what her body is responding to moment to moment.
41. Engage sexually with your partner each day for a month. Many couples especially couples that have been together for a few years or more benefit from doing a sexual intimacy challenge in which you both agree to play with each other every day for 30 days straight. Now this doesn’t mean that you must have penetrative sex where you both orgasm every day for a month straight. If that happens, great. That’s allowed to happen. But this challenge is about simply engaging with each other sexually. That could look like engaging in deep kissing for 20 minutes. Or giving each other sensual massages. Or 69’ing for an hour, even if the act doesn’t contain any orgasms for either of you. This practice is about carving out space, and prioritizing your sex life. Try it out to see what happens!
42. Stop drinking alcohol. Due to the increase of cortisol levels, drinking alcohol kills your sex drive and makes you gain weight. Cut out booze for a month and see how you feel.
43. Develop your emotional presence in bed. When it comes to being an amazing lover, your presence, passion, and desire for your lover will trump that twirly tongue thing you can do 10 times out of 10. When it comes to being an amazing lover, above all else, the emotional content behind what you do is the most important tool that you can intentionally develop in order to skyrocket your bedroom prowess. It’s not what you do that wows her; rather, it’s how you do it.
Develop your emotional presence in bed by getting in touch with your body through exercise (gym workouts, dancing, or anything else that you enjoy doing), or working through your blocks to intimacy. To discover more ways to develop your emotional presence in bed, check out this article.
44. Let go of genital focused, performance-based sex. Modern men have been raised with the idea that their worth comes from their performance, specially in the realms of work, and sex. They have been told that sexual arousal and stimulation centre around the genitals. In truth, there are only two major erogenous zones in both men and women: the skin and the heart. Touch the body all over. Drop into your emotional body and be accessible, not just in a physical sense. Sex is not about DOING WELL; rather, it is all about FEELING FULLY.
45. Improve erectile function by trying out the GainsWave method. Do you suffer from erectile dysfunction (ED)? Or, are you just looking for a general boost down there? GAINSWave is the newest and most promising therapy that uses low intensity shock wave therapy to improve erectile strength and performance for men with ED. Over 50% of men experience challenges with sexual performance, especially as they get older. As they age, blood vessels in the penis deteriorate and fill with micro-plaque which results in decreased blood flow. The shock wave therapy clears out the plaque, generates new blood vessels in your penis, and generally makes for happier, healthier, stronger erections due to increased blood flow. It’s non-invasive, requires zero medication, and, after more than 15 years of clinical studies, has no known side effects!
46. Give them more of what they already want. Are there things that you already know that your partner loves receiving, but you don’t make it a habit to actually provide them those things? If so, you’re not alone.It’s all too common that the seemingly normal/usual things that we have done that have worked before get put on the back burner in search of something new and different. If you know she likes receiving massage from you, massage her. If you know that she loves receiving oral sex from you, go down on her more often.
Does she like extended foreplay with lots of touching, kissing, and sexual tension? Then slow the fuck down and give her that experience. Above all, give your partner more of what you know they already want. Do so consistently, then watch your sex life grow and deepen organically.
47. Put more intention into your personal hygiene. Personal hygiene is a must for the phenomenal lover. Spend extra time washing yourself in the shower, specially your scalp, armpits, and groin. Use a mild, unscented, natural soap daily, and an exfoliating glove weekly.
48. Supplement for increased libido. Your sex drive is an overall indicator of your health. If you are a male who isn’t waking up with regular erections especially if you’re under the age of 50, then you may have issues. The happier your body is, the more sexual desire it will have. Horny equals healthy! Natural herbs and supplements like pine pollen, maca root powder, and beet root extract can improve your erectile function and overall libido levels.
49. Practice semen retention. Your sexual energy is the greatest and most potent form of energy available to you. You can either squander it or utilize it to its full potential and let it supercharge your life. Emerging studies suggest that, for men, having fewer orgasms could make you into a more productive, driven, loving person. Learn how to harness your sexual energy by practicing semen retention, and feel your zest for life transform overnight.
50. Proactively work through your sexual fears, blocks, and limitations. Regardless of age or gender, everyone has sexual fears, blocks, and limitations. Sex is an inherently vulnerable act, so it commonly people build up sex-related fears or blocks. Whether you want to become more comfortable in your body, develop more confidence in your sexual abilities or last longer in bed, every man has some sexual hang up to traverse.
Dakini Devi Bliss, 2021©