Do you prioritize your own joy and pleasure in the relationship with your significant other? If not, you should! In the end, nothing trumps being with a person who clearly brims with their own authentic joy. Being in a emotional rut often generates a disturbing sense of disconnection and dissatisfaction that spills over into a relationship.

Sadly, the only way out of a rut is through it. If you feel stuck or stagnant in life, do the heavy lifting to get unstuck. Only you can ever know where your true bliss lives. Now that may mean taking up a new passion, like participating in latin dance classes, travelling abroad, studying a foreign language or joining a yoga studio.

Why not invest more time in your self-pleasuring practice in order to intimately acquaint yourself with your own body’s sexual arousal and response? Or, you may wish to re-structure your day so that you can sleep in longer or never plan anything before noon. Again, your personal joy is solely your responsibility. When you so prioritize yourself set up your life so that you brim with joy, you will soon see that this is the greatest gift you can offer to yourself and your partner.

While the old ‘happy wife, happy life’ adage does reek of codependency and emotional enmeshment, it is still far easier to relate to a self-nurturing partner who knowingly puts their own joy first versus a tormented soul who blames the entire world for their woes.

Remember, both partners in a relationship are ultimately responsible for their individual happiness. Neither you nor your partner is a mind reader.  You alone are wholly responsible for getting your needs met.  When you do, you can bring all that love, bliss and joy to your intimate union as a cherished gift to your significant other.