Tantric Touch takes receiving/giving touch for pleasure to a whole new place. Many recall being told not to touch their bodies ‘down there’ in ways that felt good by agitated adults. That were either told tha this was best to be kept private or that performing genital self-touch was for vile perverts only. Yet, most people continued to touch themselves just because it felt good. for many, this associated guilt or shame, forever linked these two feelings with pleasure, thus creating much psychological confusion.
Some people espouse outdated religious, cultural beliefs or succumb to societal conditioning about pleasure being wrong or sinful, as well as inducing grave consequences like pregnancy, disease, addiction or slut shaming. Or, they were old they must earn their rewards, don’t deserve pleasure or giving trumps receiving.
The notion of receiving touch for pure pleasure can bring up any of this subconscious conditioning, leaving you deliciously excited, nervous or embarrassed. Tantric touch is a deeply healing, loving experience as it boldly challenges these parts that you hold in shadow.
- Tantric Touch can involve the Genitalia. In most therapeutic touch or massage modalities, the breasts and genitals are appropriately kept covered and separate. In Tantric touch. these intimate parts are not seen as separate from the rest of the body and may be included (though not required), as Tantra is about moving beyond duality into union. This inclusion brings up even deeper layers of childhood conditioning for healing. That said, Conscious Tantric touch can feel simply divine on your face, shoulders, arm or leg!
- Tantric Energy Exchange. In Tantra, humans are vibrating energy bodies, not solid beings. Tantric Touch activates this energy and as it moves in the body it feels like pleasure. This energy (sex or spirit) moves between the giver and receiver so that neither one feels like they’re actually giving or receiving. The boundaries blur as the connection deepens and expands.
- You are more self-aware Tantric touch is touch without agenda, other than to be experienced fully. There is no focus on performance or orgasm, even if genitals are included. Both giver and receiver are fully in the moment and open to whatever happens. There is more space to feel pleasure, emotion, love, everything because all is welcome. In this space, more thoughts can arise leading to a greater self-awareness of what is transpiring under the surface. The challenge is to accept and let go of anything blocking you from being fully present.
- You are not used to feeling extended pleasure. Let yourself receive in tantric massage. In Tantric touch, there is more space for pleasure to arise without judgement. Most sensed pleasure either feels time limited, guilty or short lived. Or there is a desire to do something with the pleasure, to take it to completion via orgasm or coitus. In Tantric touch, you breathe into the sensation of pleasure and enjoy it for exactly what it is, knowing the pleasure in itself is healing, opening and nurturing. You can choose to expand and prolong pleasure by surrendering deeper into your pleasure but never withholding it. This leads to an incredible sense of freedom and heightened states of feeling, connection and awareness.
- You must be fully self-connected. Much regular touch is focussed on giving and receiving. In Tantric touch the focus is on ourselves as much as the other. We are fully present in the moment, breathing into our own heart and body without expectation, allowing the touch to flow rather than be technique based. The more present you are in yourself, the more your partner will feel held and safe to surrender. Only then are you fully present with the other to simply explore their body versus trying to control or manipulate it.
- Receiving is active in tantra. The receiver is not passively lying there being touched. They seek to open themselves to the touch by being in the moment, letting go of thoughts, tension, resistance and blockages in their hearts, mind and body. Surrendering the mind into the heart, body and soul is tantra. Felt emotions are received and honoured as much as pleasure.
- Tantric touch is conscious Heart-to-Heart communication. Before touch is entered, a mutual agreement occurs about entering into this space of connection together. There is a focus on creating an atmosphere of safety and respect, with time and physical boundaries clear and without the use of ‘energetic consent’ ie. this is where the giver ‘senses’ the receiver wants something and gives or even takes without asking. Communication is vital for both partners. Eye gazing intensifies the depth of communication and is also a pathway for energy exchange so include plenty of it!
Guidelines for Tantric Touch
- Start to center into your own body, mind and heart. The more you self-center, the better it is for both giver and receiver.
- Focus on what your hands do as your palms and fingertips are energy-giving centres.
- Connect Tantric Touch energy the energy circuit, allowing energy to move by having both hands, or fingers from each of your hands on your partner’s body at the same time (like plugging the electrical cord into the socket).
- Move your heart energy through your hands as you touch. Imagine this energy as a white light coming from your heart down through your arms and into your hands. Play with this as wherever the consciousness goes, the energy follows.
Give and receive with your touch by moving your hands at a pressure and speed that creates a tingling between your hand and your partner’s skin.
- Experiment to get the touch right. If it feels good to you, then it will likely feel good to them.
Bring more consciousness into your touch. Let your hands energetically grow. Visualize the light extending beyond your hands and fingers and into your partner’s body. Run energy (or light) from your right hand through your partner into your left hand, then up through your heart and out your right hand, creating a circuit of energy.
- Giving your mind something to focus on stops it from wandering, boosting your level of presence, ultimately the enjoyment of both giver and receiver.
Bring feeling and emotion into your touch: love, nurturing, compassion, as well as passion. Touch all chakras, front and back.
Any movement or touch, even greatly pleasurable ones, will lose its sensitivity if repeated continually. When you find a good area, leave it and r e-visit it often.
- Branch outward from it to another area. Unless it is just prior to orgasm, then stay consistent and see what happens.
Know that it is the brain which experiences the pleasure. The best techniques deepen results as the mind/body connection is opened. Each touch modality has its Yin (soft) and Yang (firm) expression. Use both! The brain picks up more information, energy and healing when a yin stroke is followed by a yang one or vice versa.
- As you touch them, invite your partner to breathe in as if they are breathing in from a pool of love just beyond their feet, up through their body and out the top of their head. Then to breathe out from the pool of love just beyond their head down and out their feet. This washes their whole body with love.
- Static touch (not moving) can be exquisite.
- Moving touch, short strokes, circles, long strokes, spirals, sideway strokes and triangles.
- Squeezing, kneading and pinching.
- Vary speed, depth, pressure and firmness of each touch, starting with light and slow.