Upon entering this milestone in your lives, consider the following markers.
- Do they want children? If so, how many? If you fail to see eye to eye on this deal-breaking issue, you will likely break up. At times, the issue of parenting gets shoved under the rug as people don’t ask the right questions. Then, they are shocked to discover their partners don’t share their same position. If you’ve already discussed this, make sure you also know how many children your partner wants and what their ideal timeline looks like. At times, you may just have to figure these things out along the way but having consistent, open communication is the key to ensure clarity, honesty and peace of mind.
- How do they approach economic issues, especially their own finances? Their full financial situation and how they approach money will determine your happiness as a couple.The chief cause of divorce is strongly disagreeing on the handling of day-to-day financial issues. Having poor credit could block any home purchase. in the future. Also who pays for what? Don’t assume a wealthy person will always pay for everything. After all, how did they become wealthy? Does your potential partner use] reasonable judgment? This is critical, especially if they have any debt you may have to assume as a legal spouse. Note that a fiscally responsible individual brings less baggage to the relationship, thus less arguing will ensue.
- How they get along with others, including loved ones, exes and strangers. How one treats others speaks volumes about their character and suitability as a future mate. Whether it’s being kind to servers or speaking positively or negatively about close friends or family members, pay close attention. Indeed, family of origin may be the most critical factor to consider. How someone interacts with family will likely play out in your relationship unless they’re really mindful/have had counselling to prevent this. Understanding the family dynamics will give you a sense of how much drama to expect. Even the way your partner interacts with or speaks about an ex can be very telling.
Are they compassionate? Hateful? While often overlooked, this is truly important. If one speaks well of an ex, changes are they will also treat you with compassion. This tell-tale sign gauges emotional well-being and emotional intelligence.
- How does your partner likes to be touched? The presence of physical intimacy differentiates romantic relationship from a platonic one.
Sex, snuggling, kissing, and general touching truly matter. You can’t fully bond without physical contact. Before marriage, implement holding hands for 20 seconds, go to bed touching feet and kiss for four seconds a day. Spell out ‘kiss’ with your lips touching. Hug your partner. Commit to mutual touching in some capacity on a daily basis. Relationships undergo all four seasons with all marital aspects, including physical intimacy. It’s fine if libido ebbs and flows over the years, but being highly comfortable with each other physically is vital to lifelong bonding, joy and happiness.
- What is your potential partner like in crisis-mode? Everyone deals with tough spots, whether it be major family issues, career-related upsets or health scares. What you need to know is how they work through a crisis. Do they avoid the problem, throw their hands up, or run in the other direction? If so, this demonstrates an inability or unwillingness to deal with their own emotions and failure to problem-solve. Perfection isn’t necessary here but a sincere drive to stay positive and resolve the matter is key. One vital sign that your partner can work through a crisis is if their openness to therapy. A willingness to undergo counselling signifies maturity and willingness. Those who seek therapy end up with far more insight, leading to healthier relationships. What are they like during the holidays or traveling, both of which can be major stressors.. Again, nobody is perfect so do not expect flawless problem-solving skills. Yet, how your partner handles tough situations before marriage is how they’ll likely handle them after. In the end, you have to make sure that you’re fine with their whatever approach they adopt.